Regular trips to the doctors’ surgery couple with various blood tests, MRI scans and x-ray’s got me no closer to understanding this ‘mystery illness’. Apart from looking tired, I looked ‘normal’ yet I felt so far from my ‘normal self’. I knew something was wrong, yet all my blood tests came back as normal. Sadly, the doctors just labelled me as depressed and prescribed anti-depressants.
It felt like I had lost everything, my career, role as mother, wife and woman. Even the seemingly easy tasks of reading Thomas the Tank Engine to my then two-year old son felt impossible. I was unable to get up to look after our baby girl and the fatigue and brain-fog was so debilitating that even simple tasks, such as brushing my teeth felt impossible. Those days were very dark and I felt so incredibly lost. I was desperate to be the mum I dreamt of and go to the park and enjoy the early days with my kids. Instead, I was crippled with fatigue, pain, insomnia, brain-fog and no explanation as to why?!
The only way I could get through each day was to ensure that I spent hours lying in a dark room devoid of noise. Life was reduced to nothing.